Just Drunk Enough

An Original Scene by Amy Alls

Lights up on Jack, who is pacing with a bottle of Jack Daniels (or some other whiskey) and looking at his watch. Maggie enters shortly thereafter.

Jack (rushing to the door and standing in the doorway)-Finally. What took you so long?

Maggie-Well, I have a job. That usually takes at least 8 hours out of my day. (sarcastically) Sorry to inconvenience you.

Jack-God, you’re such a smart ass.

Maggie (noticing the bottle in Jack’s hand)-Starting early today, I see?

Jack-What? Oh. Yeah, that. I need to talk to you.

Maggie-Can I come in the door first?

Jack-Oh. (Jack steps out of the doorway so Maggie can enter the room)

Maggie-What’s up?

Jack-I’ve been thinking.

Maggie-Not again.

Jack-Shut up. No. Seriously. Listen to me.

Maggie (annoyed)-I’m listening.

Jack-Why do you have to be such a bitch?

Maggie-Is this what you want to talk about? I just got home and I really don’t feel up to-

Jack-No, but---I’m trying to talk to you about something and you just keep acting like---

Maggie-Myself? The same way I always act?

Jack-Yes---No, I mean---could you just let me talk, please?

Maggie-Like I said, I’m listening.

Jack (pauses and gets very serious)-It’s time.

Maggie (impatiently)-Time for what?

Jack-I said shut up!

Maggie-Well, I’m not a mind reader. Time for what? What is it time for Jack?

Jack-Shit. This is too complicated. Here. (hands her the bottle of whiskey)

Maggie-Cool. Thanks. What’s this for?

Jack-Let’s play a game.

Maggie-Star Wars drinking game again? I’m really not in the mood to hear Luke’s whining.

Jack-Not exactly.

Maggie-Okay, well, what game do you want to play?

Jack-How drunk do we have to get to...(using gestures and hoping she’ll guess what he wants to say)

Maggie (leering)-To what?

Jack (pauses, then sighs realizing he has to say it)-to fuck. How drunk would we have to get to fuck.

Maggie (laughs, but seems slightly intrigued)-What? Are you serious?

Jack-Yes. I’m serious. We’ve been playing games for over a year now. Our tension has mounted to everything but that and I just want to know what it would take for us to finally just go through with it.

Maggie-Jack, you’re my best friend.

Jack-I know all that bullshit and I know that it’s never a good idea to sleep with friends, but…I can’t stand you anymore. I hate you because I can’t live without you. I hate you because I’ve fallen in love with you and I don’t want to get back up until the deed is done. I don’t want to get back up unless I know for absolute certain that we do not connect in that way. Maggie, you know what I’m talking about.

Maggie drops the bottle and kisses Jack passionately. They exit the stage temporarily as someone walks across with a sign that says “20 minutes later.”
Maggie comes back out first with her hair tasseled, followed by Jack, topless, zipping his zipper and buttoning his jeans. Maggie picks up the bottle of whiskey. She walks over to a cabinet and pulls out two glasses, pouring whiskey into each one.

Maggie-Let’s play a game.

Jack-How drunk do we have to get to forget what we just did?

The two friends smile, clink glasses and swallow their whiskey down in one gulp.

Lights down.

End.