Oh, This Thing Again

An Original Scene By Amy Alls

Lights come up slowly on two people rolling around under a blanket making suggestive noises. Jack and Maggie are in bed, post coital. Scene should go rather quickly between the two characters except as indicated differently.

Maggie-So, are we a couple yet?
Jack (looking confused)-No.
Maggie (looking annoyed)-Fine. (beat) Well, I have a date tonight.
Jack (caught off guard)-A date?
Maggie-Yes.
Jack-With who?
Maggie-A guy.
Jack-What guy?
Maggie-You don’t know him.
Jack-How could I not know him? We know all the same people. We do everything together.
Maggie-Not everything.
Jack-What do you mean?
Maggie-Well, I have a date with a guy you don’t know because we don’t do everything together. (sarcastically) I obviously do things all by myself…that is, if I can handle it.
Jack-Don’t get bitchy with me.
Maggie-Bitchy? You don’t want me to get bitchy with you?
Jack-Maggie, I just asked you a question. You don’t have to make this into a thing.
Maggie-I’m not. You were.
Jack-Jesus, Mag. Just tell me who the guy is.
Maggie-Why do you care? We’re not a couple.
Jack-We’re best friends. You tell me everything.
Maggie-Did I tell you about this?
Jack-Just now you did. Wait. When did this guy ask you on this date?
Maggie-Seriously, Jack. You need to drop this. I need a shower.
Jack-C’mon Maggie. Who is it?
Maggie-Now, I’m really not telling you.
Jack-Fine. You’re lying then. Where are you going on this date?
Maggie (mumbling)-Red Lobster.
Jack (a little envious)-Red Lobster?
Maggie (irritated)-Yes.
Jack-Cheddar biscuits?
Maggie-Yah.
Jack-During the “endless crab” festival?
Maggie-If you can call it a festival.
Jack-Well…that’s nice.
Maggie-Are you done giving me the third degree? I smell like you and mediocre sex.
Jack-Who is it?
Maggie-It’s a guy I met on the internet.
Jack-Oh, that guy.
Maggie-Yeah. What about it?
Jack-Are you going to be okay going by yourself?
Maggie-Yeah, I think I’ll manage.
Jack-Are you sure? Because I could go with you. I wouldn’t mind some of those cheddar—
Maggie-No. Which part of the phrase “I have a date tonight” do I have to define for you?
Jack-But, we do everything together.
Maggie-Not everything. Definitely not everything.

Maggie takes the blanket and wraps it around her half-naked body almost uncovering Jack completely and exits.

Jack-She’ll be back. She’ll bring me leftovers. Cheddar biscuits! SWEET!!

Lights Down

End