Decisions, Decisions...

No one has asked me this, but I bet at least one person who knows me would like to know why the F&*# I quit a good paying job with benefits to go take care of children for 35 hours a week at minimum wage. The answer? Well, even though my former roommate was a complete asshole and our friendship was a bit on the rocky side the past year or so, I never in a million years thought he would leave me the way he did. I was certain that, should I choose to leave my cushy at-home call center job, I'd have at least the remainder of my lease to save up any money I might need to survive on my own. I even asked him what he thought about the whole thing. I got his input and he even said he'd sign one more year long lease so we could both get our finances together before we moved on. So, confident that he was in support of this idea, I woke up one day and called a daycare center and basically asked for a job. I got the job. I LOVE the job. It pays shit, but it makes me happy multiple times a day--every day. It requires me to leave my house and I don't have to stare at a computer screen with a headset on all day. I still have depression and anxiety, but I feel like I can actually control those ailments now for the most part. So, I made a huge decision back in April of this year to change my life on my own terms regardless of the consequences. Do I regret it? Oddly enough, no. Even though the roommate is gone and I'm barely keeping a roof over my head, terrified of every bill and every problem that comes my way, the one thing I do not regret is leaving my old job for my current job. Am I surviving? Somewhat. I'm doing the best I can with what I have. That's all I can do. I have to give plasma twice a week to scrape by except for when they won't let me because I have a fever (like today) which is really screwing up things at the moment--but, maybe something good will happen...then something bad will happen again...and then something good again--and so on and so forth... That's life, right? I mean, this is what life is all about, right? Surviving? Every hill is now a mountain. Every mountain: the heavens themselves. 2011 can suck it.