Hindsight

I can't help but wonder if I had worked this hard while my best friend was still here, would he still be gone? Would he have erased me from his life and forgotten about anything good that ever happened between us in the last 6 years? I have one Christmas wish...and I think I'm going to have it for a long, long time. If you're out there anywhere, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve this. I must have been really awful. I miss us so much. I have "Love Actually" on one of my compilation .AVI dvds, but I can't watch it without thinking of you. Then there's that other movie we almost based a play on...I can never remember the name of that damned movie. Please come home some day. Just to hug me goodbye. Just to let me go. I can't let you go until I know you forgive me. I just want to feel that close to someone again. I want that "home" back in my heart. I feel pretty hollow without you. It gets easier and easier to "Dexter" the rest of the world. Who am I kidding? You don't remember me. Why the hell would you be reading an obscure blog of mine you probably never knew about? Gee it feels great to be a moron all the time.